Helping Build Inner Strength and Self-Esteem

We all want to raise our daughters to be anything and everything they want to be.

But what does this mean? Here are a few of the goals we address in our workshops at Parents Place:

  • Enabling girls to try new things and to feel good about themselves whether they succeed or fail.
  • Enabling them to be able to be assertive without being aggressive, to be willing to take risks, and to stand up for what they believe.
  • Helping them to feel good about their bodies and not to succumb to the ideals of thinness and beauty shown in the teen magazines and on TV

Obviously, we can’t isolate them from the prevailing culture, but there are things we as parents can do to encourage our daughters to love themselves for who they are:

  • Don’t make your little girl feel badly about her preferences and choices.
  • Even if your preschooler loves frilly clothes, make sure her clothing allows for active play and mess. 
  •  At any age, monitor media images with your children. Reflect on how the images you see fit in with your values and the values you want to pass along to your children. Encourage discussion by asking your daughter’s opinion.
  • Give specific praise. Be a coach, not a judge.
  • Read stories to your daughter about strong females role models.
  • Teach your daughter how to use her voice and body language to express assurance. Explain the importance of using a firm voice and of “standing tall.”

As our daughters mature, there are other things to encourage and to watch out for. Here are some things to think about and to do:

  • If your pre-adolescent experiences a crisis in confidence, listen carefully to see what is going on. Help her find an activity she’s good at and encourage her to keep it up. Mastery breeds confidence, and new activities bring new friendships.
  • Team sports are wonderful for teaching the value of physical fitness, the rewards of practice, teamwork, and risk-taking in public. Girls who play sports learn about competition and how to win and lose gracefully—traits  that will serve them for a lifetime. 
  • Set limits you feel are appropriate on overly sexual outfits. You can explain that clothing can generate responses that will make your daughter feel uncomfortable. Give her guidelines for responding to inappropriate comments.
  • Watch out for obsessive concern about diet and looks, and note changes in habits and friends. If you see persistent depression, seek help.

 

 

 

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