Potty Learning

As with many developmental milestones for children (like sleeping, eating, and talking), toilet learning is very much in the child’s domain of control. We cannot really “train” them or “teach” them how to make their bodies function. We can only provide a safe, loving, supportive environment and plenty of opportunity for them to learn themselves as their bodies mature.

Parents need to be consistent, supportive, and optimistic about their child’s toileting success. If there are major power struggles, battles, and feelings of hopelessness on either side, parents must be flexible enough to let them go and try again in a few weeks.

  • The most important sign of readiness for children is physiological—when they are able to go several hours and remain dry, they are developmentally ready to learn.
  • Other signs of readiness include an increased awareness, interest in the potty and no big changes going on at home.
  • A child-sized potty can promote ownership over this transition and will be less intimidating than the big toilet. Children are concrete learners, so books on using the potty can be helpful illustrations of the process.
  • Move all diaper changes into the bathroom. Begin associating this room with elimination.
  • When you and your child are ready, let your child go bare or wear underwear, give him plenty of liquids, and provide natural breaks in your day for potty visits.
  • With young children redirection and distraction are useful tools to avoid hearing “No.” With older children natural and logical consequences are most effective.
  • Watch your phrasing! “Do you have to go potty?” will most likely elicit a “No!” response. “It’s potty time!” or “Let’s go potty and then we’ll go to the park” is a much better choice.
  • Nighttime training can take much longer. Eventually, dinner will have to be the last food or drink of the day. When your child wakes up with a dry diaper for two weeks straight, you can try underwear at night.

Using the toilet is a learned skill. Think about the kind of coach you’d like to be for your child as she masters this process. Avoid power struggles, shaming or punishments during this learning time. No one wants to learn a new skill under pressure. Be positive and supportive and show confidence in your child’s ability to succeed.

 

 

 

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