Raising Sons

Children are individuals with their own unique needs and interests.  And it's true that boys and girls require a different approach.  Parents most often notice their sons’ energy level and use of aggression to get what they want.  Mothers often have difficulty dealing with these behaviors, whereas some fathers seem more comfortable with their sons wanting to wrestle or play with “weapons.”  After all, fathers were once boys too, so they may understand a boy’s need to be physical and to have a more aggressive way of dealing with issues. 

The trick for parents is to give boys the time and space they need for active play, but to define when enough is enough.  Here are some thoughts about parenting boys:

  • Give boys the same level of affection and nurturing you would give a daughter. 
  • Find appropriate times and places for your son to express his exuberant “boy-energy.” Help him learn how to shift gears from energetic play to quieter activities.
  •  Make sure boys learn basic household skills like doing chores and picking up after themselves.
  • Monitor TV shows and video games. Discuss the content with your children, letting them know how you feel about the issues you see.
  • Help boys practice behaviors you would like to see; for example, using a napkin or staying at the dinner table until everyone is finished eating. Just don't expect the new behavior to magically appear with one request.
  • “Catch” your son being kind and considerate and let him know how proud you are of him.
  • Communicate with your son's teachers so you can get a good idea of what's happening at school.
  • Consider using family meetings as a safe place to talk about feelings and family concerns. This will help children to get in touch with their own feelings and learn how to express them appropriately and also to understand how others may be feeling.
  • Don't let boys get away with misbehavior, whether it's jumping on the couch or joy riding, just because they are boys. Make sure they understand the consequences of their actions.
  • Giving a boy a pet can be a good way to increase his nurturing skills. Just make sure he is old enough to handle the responsibility.
  • Since many boys don’t always let you know what's going on in their lives, or what they’re thinking, try sneaking a conversation into other activities that you're doing together.

Putting time and energy into teaching and being role models for our children will pay big dividends in our children’s lives. Children do learn as much from observing us as they do from listening to what we say, so we need to “walk the walk” as well as “talk the talk.” 

 

 

 

 

 

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