Search
Temperament
Every person is born with a unique personality made up of inborn behavioral characteristics. In the 1950s, child psychiatrists Stella Chess and Alexander Thomas identified four temperamental “styles” and nine distinct categories of temperamental traits to understand how children experience and react to their environments. The more we understand our own and our child’s individual “style” and temperament, the easier our lives will be.
There are three distinct temperamental styles: flexible (40%), slow-to-warm (15%), and spirited (10%). The remaining 35% have features of all of the above.
There are nine temperamental traits to further define the three main temperamental styles. These traits include: activity level, body rhythm regularity, intensity, sensitivity, first reaction, adaptability, persistence, distractibility, and general mood. It is important to understand your own temperament and that of your child. You can take a survey at: www.preventiveoz.org to find out about your particular temperamental style.
- Find ways to see temperamental traits in a positive light. Focus on assets and strengths. Watch your negative language. “You sure are persistent!” instead of “You sure are stubborn.”
- Power struggles occur when there are differences in temperament between parent and child. Focus on your child’s strengths.
- Set reasonable limits and allow your child time and space to explore and respond to your requests.
- Strive to avoid over-tiring your child. When tired, a child’s self-control breaks down, judgment worsens, and so does behavior.
- Structures and routines are important. Allow enough transition time between activities. Choose activities that “fit” your child’s natural interests.
- Introverts refill their energy banks by being alone. Extroverts refill their energy banks by being with other people. Balance your child’s day between indoor and outdoor activities, active and more relaxed activities, solitary and group activities.
Remember, temperament is the “nature” side of “nature vs. nurture.” Accept your children for who they are and celebrate their strengths. Become their advocate as they move through the world. Anticipate which activities will be challenging for them and structure your day with enough breaks to keep you both calm and focused. Children learn to adapt as they get older. Right now, they need you to help them navigate the complex and ever-changing world around them.